An Open Letter to All My Single Ladies

I’ve seen a lot of articles posted by friends on Facebook and other social media channels with titles such as: “10 Reasons Why You’re Single” or “You’re Single Because ______” and all I have to say is STOP POSTING THESE.

Get ready for some tough love, because you’re about to get it. You’re not an old soul, or too intimidating, or too perfect to have some guy date you. There’s nothing wrong with you and there’s nothing wrong with everyone else who doesn’t want to date you.

I’m calling this Taylor Swift Syndrome, because for a while there, she really thought there was something wrong with all of her suitors and refused to accept any responsibility.

I feel like I can say this to you because I’m a perpetually single lady as well – hello, Tinderella. I’ve been single for two years (longer?) and you best believe that I have asked myself at least one if not all of the questions you’re asking yourself. But, after months of torturing myself with thoughts like: “I’m probably just too tall” or “I think I’m a little intimidating” or ” The guys in this town just can’t handle what’s in my goodie jar”; I decided that it really doesn’t matter and I have to just accept that I’m single. Except I think the one about the goodies in the jar might have at least an ounce of truth in it.

When I see my friends post something like this, I imagine that they’re having the same self-depricating thoughts that I am. So, I’m here to tell you that there’s nothing wrong with your appearance or your personality; you’re amazing and perfect!!!! I know that’s super cheesy, but, it’s true. You just have to wait. Yeah, I know, that’s so unfair. Especially if (like me) your 16 year-old sister has a more riveting love life than you and during the holidays everyone posts cute a’f couple pics. But don’t worry, you’ll be able to post kissing pics to insta one day (but, please don’t – those are SO tacky).

Before getting into a relationship with anyone, you must improve upon your relationship with yourself. That means looking yourself in the eye, and accepting your faults but also embracing your strengths. My dad has a bunch of sayings (literally, we call them Walter-isms) and one goes like:

If you want to change something in your life, the person you must look to first is the one in the mirror.

Love will come to you when least expected, so stop actively searching for it because you won’t find it. Instead, start actively living in the moment and build upon the relationships around you – not all relationships are romantic – and start with yourself.

So, in summation, you’re single. Deal with it. In fact, embrace it. Whatever you believe in, everything happens for a reason and you just have to be patient. In the meantime, go on a date with yourself. Read a book. Learn more about your friends and family. There are literally a thousand other things you can do instead of being someone’s significant other. Find one.

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