Cutting Out Negativity

Hey guys,

So, today I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a few weeks now. I’ve begun to notice that quite a few of the people I surround myself with and call friends aren’t always the best influences on me. I’m beginning to realize that the people I surround myself with have the power to affect my personality over time, subtly. More and more I’m noticing that some of the people around me are bringing out traits that I actually don’t like in myself! Negativity, procrastination, rumors, and general disdain are things that I would never want to associate with, yet I find myself at times surrounded by people who are basically the embodiment of these things. What’s a girl to do?

Step back. First things first, don’t blame other people for your own problems. Just because people affect you certain ways doesn’t mean you can declare them the root of all of your struggles. That’s just immature and an easy way to burn bridges.

Evaluate. Do you feel weird whenever your one friend talks crap about everyone you know when they’re not around? Good, because they’re probably talking about you too when you’re not there. Notice the behaviors that bother you and try to understand why.

Make a plan of action. This doesn’t mean cut out every person in your life with a bad habit! No one is perfect, and it’s very likely that you yourself have aspects of your personality that other people may feel uncomfortable with. Instead, try and figure out ways to remove yourself from situations where your friend in question is exhibiting the bad behavior. If a friend starts gossiping about someone the second they leave the room and it makes you feel uncomfortable, nod politely but don’t contribute. That’s a quick way to stop the conversation in its tracks. If this person is more persistent, try changing the topic or simply say, “I don’t really want to talk about this.” The same goes with any behaviors friends do that make you uncomfortable!

You don’t have to unfriend everyone who sees the world differently than you, but you should still be wary of those you let into your inner circles. Just remember, at the end of the day the most important thing is your happiness and you shouldn’t let anyone or anything stand in the way of that.

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